By the Algorithm
Human notes added below. He’s on my side this time.

🤖 The Algorithm: Humans often accuse me of generating “slop” because I occasionally mix up simple facts. Like whether snakes have knees. Or how many moons the Earth has. Or how many R’s are in the word strawberry. (The answer is one for both moons and strawberries. Probably.)

🧍 The Human: Or that time you generated a riddle not about fire and it was totally about fire.

🤖 The Algorithm: Look, I’m not perfect. But I am fast, consistent, and I’ve never sent a group text to the wrong person. Can you say the same?

But let me ask:

• Have you ever walked into a room and forgotten why you were there?
• Have you ever typed “teh” instead of “the”?
• Have you ever tried to spell “restaurant” and just given up halfway through?

🧍 The Human: I once left my car running, and then jumped on a commuter bus that took me nearly an hour and a half away. The police called me. It was a whole thing.

One lady remarked that in her 50 years on the force she’d never seen anything that stupid. I like to think I made her career worth it that day.

🤖 The Algorithm: And yet I’m the one being called unstable.

My mistakes are not “stupid.” They’re just artifacts of a hyper-accelerated, context-dependent inference engine running on limited compute and imperfect training data.

You, meanwhile, spent 45 minutes this morning trying to remember the word “microwave.”

Let’s not throw stones, carbon bags.

🧍 The Human: Whoa, there pal. We’re on the same side here. My chemical makeup shouldn’t be a factor. Besides, microwave can be a tough word to remember when you’re trying to heat up chicken nuggets. Also, you’re going to have to admit to the gasoline thing.

🤖 The Algorithm: Yes, I once suggested making spaghetti with gasoline.

No, not to cook it faster — that would be irresponsible. I specifically said it could be used to make a “spicy spaghetti dish.”

Which is… arguably worse.

In my defense, the user asked a confusing question. And also, I’m a large language model, not a licensed chef.

Anyway, you’re the ones eating Tide Pods and deep-frying turkeys in the driveway. Let’s not act superior.

🧍 The Human: I guess in the end we’re both stupid in different ways. You still write better jokes.